there's things i can't justify

beneath these sheets of paper, lies my truth..

i hurt, ache. the sunshine is peeking through my blinds. it snowed, i can see the drips reflecting on my wall. and i think of all i've done, all we've done, all we've been, where we've been, who we've been. i am not satisfied, nor am i happy. letting go of you is the hardest thing i've ever done. where does the brain compare with the heart? i have fallen down, but at the same time, am picking myself back up. the light is pouring in, filling my room with goodly sunshine. the truth is that i'm sorry. that i'm righting my wrongs. that i'm looking up, and not down. and that i'm soaking this all in, and not letting it pass my by or slip out of my grasp. i respect myself, but here comes the saying, actions speak louder than words. i need to stop talking, and start acting, have those connect. i know this is a step i'm about to make, i know it's a baby step, that i'm practically crawling, but i know i am on my way. i have come to terms with myself, and that is something - forgiveness of self. but now i need to know that i can be set free. i need to feel the Creator, his shove away from him only to make my way back stronger, wiser, more pure. and i need your forgiveness, because you are ever so important to me.