(M)ilk and (H)oney

i had a dream about you that woke me. it's 4a.m and these are the words running around in my head, dying to get out.

will the change come while we're waiting? make me a witness, take me out of darkness, out of doubt. will we burn in heaven? like we do down here? everyone is waiting. will mercy be revealed or blind us where we stand? everyone is waiting. i swear i feel you breathe. like you're lying next to me. if you've really set me free, tell me why you're haunting me. something's in the air that i can't see.

i tell myself to hold on. "hold on to yourself, for this is going to hurt like hell, you know that only time will tell" what is it in me that refuses to believe this isn't better than the real thing? i lie awake and pray that you'll be strong and together we'll see another day. and we will praise it. and i love the light that brings a smile across your face. "hold on, hold on to yourself, for this is going to hurt like hell" there's nothing i'd like better than to fall.

you speak to me in riddles, you speak to me in rhyme. i ache to breathe your breath. your words keep me alive. memories trapped in time. and i have the sense to recognize that i don't know how to let you go. every moment marked with apparitions of your soul. i'm ever swiftly moving trying to escape this desire, this yearning to be near you. i do what i have to do. broken by the rules of love, fate has led us through it, but i don't know how to let you go.

and all i feel is black and white.
and i'm wound up so small and tight.
and i don't know WHO i am.

unravel me, untie this chord, the very center of our union is caving in. i am the archive of our failure. i push it back to get through each day.

ok, so the winter is here, and i feel cold and bitter. it's chilled me to the bone. i feel like i haven't seen the sun in weeks, like i'm too long, too far from home. i feel just like i'm sinking and i'm crawling for solid ground. pulled down from the undertow, i never thought i could feel so low. and oh darkness, i just feel like letting go. if all of the strength and all of the courage, come and lift me from this place, i know i can love you much better than this, full of grace, my love. it's just that we stayed too long in the same old sickly skin.