poetic tragedy.
perhaps my favourite song from an old favourite, the used.
i really thought that particular blog made me look.. completely desperate.
i'm going to be honest, and tell you i was drunk, i don't know if you noticed i included that in there.
but it was the most rational thinking i've done in a long time. i just felt entirely useless, but i knew it wasn't a lie. so it oddly found comfort in that.
i really do not try to be anything for anyone. i don't believe people when they say i mean something to them, because i don't understand how i can be so meaningful to another when i mean nothing to myself. if i don't even understand myself, my thoughts, my actions, my feelings.. than how can anyone else appreciate them? i don't even know if i'm real.
i don't know what turned me into this hating machine, i give credit to many events. but i know i do want to get through this.
i figure it's happening for a reason. i strongly believe everything happens for a reason.
this conversation, for instance.
please share with me what your idea is. i'm very curious.
3 comments:
okay, I'll look up the song. Thanks for mentioning it.
Yes, I caught that about your message yesterday, about the drunk part. It seemed like a lot of your real thoughts coming out, even through the despair the questions seemed genuine. That's what struck me as I read your messages, anyway. Talking about what's going on in there probably helps a lot more than drinking about it...
Surprisingly, you can mean a whole lot to someone else, even though you may not understand all of yourself, yes. Have you ever talked with someone who you respected or admired, and they had no idea they were making that impression? Believe me, I've influenced people over time that I had NO IDEA were even noticing, until they mentioned something to a mutual friend. A saying that stuck with me: "You might as well smile, you never know who's watching."
With your own self, try noticing what it is you're asking for on a daily basis. How are you 'asking' other people to treat you? What are you expecting of others? By and large, people tend to live up to your expectations... or down to them, unfortunately. So ask for the best, that seems to better your chances!
My idea's almost ready for prime time, at least in a rough form. I'll post a link here soon that you might enjoy, probably in about an hour. You'll know more then.
All for a reason,
Anon E. Mouse ;o)
Hey there,
Here's a few thoughts for you. Poor production quality, but sincere...
http://70.30.27.206/stuff/Fearless/Fearless.html
Are you on hi-speed internet? (It's a pretty big download).
And, I learned a few things today...
1. It doesn't matter how long you think it will take to finish a creative or technical piece... it will take longer.
2. I think I need better editing software, or more time to learn the one I have.
3. It's a lot of fun to get wrapped up in a project just for the sake of itself.
Hope you enjoy,
Anon
This link might work better for you:
Fearless
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