so you can move forwards...

For once I know exactly how I feel, about many things. At a time where.. my mind is free. And open to rational thinking.

1) It's not there. It's not real. I don't feel it. I can't do it. I refuse to. I don't like people playing around with my emotions, my head, my heart. No?

2) This is my life. I shouldn't be afraid to go to my friend's birthday party because of this. I shouldn't be paranoid that everyone I talk to is trying to get something out of me to fuel your gossip-like, bashful ways. I felt like a fool for too long until I realized. That I shouldn't be wasting away on all the drama you pull. That I don't need the whole world to like me. And that I definitely do not need friends who don't understand, who up and leave.

3) I love you. I just love you. It's that fucking simple.

4)You both make me smile. I love knowing I have you, anytime. I love knowing we spend all our time together. I love that you stuck up to him.

5) Complete bullshit.

6) Not happening. I'm not throwing this away. I'll be left with nothing. He was right. Let it go. Get through it. And walk away. Onto better things.

7) I can't stress how much of a relief that was. I just want this gone. I want this to be the past. Because I know I'm better than this. I want to smile. And I want it to be golden.

I've just opened my eyes the widest possible, to all this, in motion. Sometimes I feel like I can't keep up, and at others, I feel like I'm too caught up.

But put simply:
HIGHSCHOOL IS A LOAD OF SHIT. :)