a sight to behold

he thinks he knows me. he thinks he's figured the every equation, pattern, and entire mathematics that we may very well call me. and we laughed together because we know these thoughts, these self proclaimations of utter greatness stray far from what holds true. i didn't ask, nor did i condone his disrespectful self to come into my home, my bedroom, my sanctuary, my hideout and disturb the peace, the positivity. these few events have left me in a frenzy of mixed emotions. sad, because the care that has prevailed falls on deaf ears, wool covered eyes - a whirlwind of egoism. confusion. we got here somehow. misconceptions in regards to all things from the C. frustration. my walls, my possessions, so much sentiment being pryed from my very hands. ecstatic. reinforcing the faith in each doubt. relief. and him. his warmth and his explosions of rich blue, surging electric light i'm blessed with gazing into. everything is fine. everything is more than fine. words have been left unsaid but i truly do not gain any sort of satisfaction out of spitting harsh bashes at him, though there are, of course, the times when one needs to get their earful. time. as much as i have pent up the dramas, i've come to let go. emancipation, education, masturbation. life is wonderful and i'll fuckin' finger paint all i want. :)