........... I wish that I could make this all go away for you and I wish more than anything that I could bring you back here, but I really don't think you could go back to just being a kid again. I think it is what you need but I know its not what you want. You have to grow up too fast to be on your own like this. I know, I did it. I really wish I hadn't screwed up your life. If it was just you and me it would be okay but Tony well...... he's another story. And Ron ...... well I don't know what to do. I am soooo sorry about all of this . Just know that I love you and believe."
She told me I shouldn't write back to her because Ron snoops around in her inbox. She said it's not him being nosey, but rather him being "Ron". Well I guess he's just nosey than. But we already knew that. So after much else said in this particular e-mail she sent me, I began to get this funny feeling in my stomach. My mother is my best friend. She literally is. I'm so blessed to have her. So so blessed. Just her presence sheds so much light. I was really down and out of it tonight, and sure enough, she was over with chocolate, cigarettes and more comfort than anyone could offer me. I cry a good cry - one out of relief. She didn't ruin my life. She's exposed me, she's been there for me, she's as selfless as one in her position could be. I'd be nowhere without her. I'm just overflowing with the love I have for her right now. I'm my mum's little girl, through and through.
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