aha! i have master-minded my ways around my ridiculous computer that lays upon it's deathbed. no deathbed shall get in the way of my explosion of thoughts and dire need to save them on this here website. wordpad, *type*, ctrl+c, *click*, blogger, ctrl+v! *click*. et voila! my brilliance radiates at such a silly hour in the morning! okay, enough, enough. i'm excited to once again spill my thoughts into this screen. i've been writing a lot more in my journal, though i always do, which feels good because that i will carry with me on my journey. there's so much to type, my fingers cannot seem to work in accordance with the surging electricity running through every inch that is me.during the course of the last few months, i have been communicating back and forth with this really enjoyable young couple from brantford. they came across a post i set up on kijiji classifieds looking for a rideshare to western canada. after learning of them, their interests and their hopes for their time on earth, we decided to meet. they'd been planning this trip for some time, and they're drive and determination and overall positive attitudes drove me in the same direction aswell. 18 and 21, with a 1 year old, married for 3 years. that is what they wanted for their lives. they travel, backpack and crave the world. and not only did they drive from deep in the southern most parts of ontario to meet me here in barrie, we enjoyed a beautiful day at a serene part along the lake and smoked a nice one. they were perfect. the car was loaded, all we were doing was killing time until my moving day. perfect. today, i come home, very haggered after a long, strenuous walk from blaine's to find an e-mail in inbox, dying to be opened. to only come across words that left me feeling so stupid for relying on anyone to reach my own personal goals. anyways, they're not going. they fear they won't have enough money to return to ontario after embarking on such a long trip off of work. understandable but i felt such a gust of confusion and terror. it's easy to let situations such as that tear you down. but i knew i had to step back and properly assess my predicament. okay, so this is happening for a reason. i know i have the means to travel otherwise. agh, it would have been cool to be leisurely, stop where we'd like, take some beautiful shots. does this mean i shouldn't go? should i go? wait, why am i doubting myself? this is just a test. of course i want to go, am i mad. if i don't, i'm going to kick myself. if i don't, where will i be? okay, i am going. nothing like a little test to boost my confidence. the art of perservering has come into play. my date has been pushed forward a few days, but this is nothing detrimental at all. i have a bit more time to cool down with my baby malcolm before i give him away. more time to store my boxes at andrew's (thank the lord for him and that offer). and when i really sit down and think about it, i might be spending less than originally, considering we were taking a week long drive out there. i found a really cheap bus ride from toronto to edmonton for 185 one way. one way :)
okay, well.. i'm tired now. more to come. thank you wordpad. goodnight world.