1:57a.m
i shouldn't have gone to tim hortons so late at night, perhaps i'd be sleeping if that wasn't the case. ah well, it's not like i've a thing to do until i work. my landlord has me doing odd jobs around the house to make up for the two extra weeks he's letting me live here. he's kindof creepy, in a really nice way.. which results in him being even creepier. basically he has a different girl over everyday. you are not cool, buddy. i didn't find time to paint tonight, but when i got in, andrea and i painted some pictures. there's a massive joint on my wall. and a really cute mural of a very happy place. i'd love to get someone over here to do something really funky with my closet doors. maybe i'll buy textiles! i really can't wait to get everything in order. i was never given the chance to make my room my own in my mum's place and i like the idea of having this room all to myself. i can even lock the door. i'm not used to privacy, it's something that my stepfather drilled into my head was a privledge. which i completely disagree with. i'm glad i'm out of cait's house. she lectured me when she got in tonight for having the gate open, which i obviously wasn't a part of. why would i leave the gate open? and i didn't make my bed properly so she demanded i go over there tomorrow? jeez. would she have starved had i not bought all the groceries? i wonder. she's a nice enough girl but i don't find her real enough. i'm always left feeling completely dissatisfied with people. i feel like maybe i expect too much. i mean, who am i. i want someone great and find him and can't keep up. maybe i shouldn't be so hard on people. i just find it extremely hard to take an interest in anyone, really. the minute i say something worth anything to me, and i can tell they don't have it, i lose all interest. i know there's a balance, i have to work on maintaining that otherwise i'll have a bummer of a time here. i am really excited for school, though! to think i'm going to be taking guitar!! sometimes i feel so motivated, and very much so look forward to being able to focus my motivation and energy on something other than what i've been wasting away my summer doing. wasting = keyword. i really hope i get into global. i don't want to get my hopes up, but i really do hope there is a chance i get in. i know of alot of people who got in with late acceptance. i'm willing to pour my heart out to mr. morrisson to make him understand how badly i want to be a part of his class. i think it's ridiculous my school failed to inform my grade that program was available to us. unfortunate. everyone applied for geo studies, though. i don't know why i didn't, perhaps i should have. i haven't even gotten my report card yet. i hope i didn't fail math. i've never failed a class before, man my marks just plummetted this past year for me. and it's not even that i'm not smart, i was on honour roll before i took this fall. i am so excited to get back to school. i'm probably blabbing. i just have no one to talk to, and alot of like thoughts in my head about nothing really. just tedious blabber.