r i ght wh er e you ar e.

4:18a.m
my feet are sore, and i have done alot of thinking tonight. i haven't felt this close in so long. you've been far from my reach for too long, so i could reach this point! i'm done here. everything i do is to further myself so i can get out of here and connect.
there's so much more than this.. simply put, bullshit.

i'm going to miss you so much when you go. you're the only one who gets it. i hope you believe in me like i believe in you.

sometimes, just sometimes, i wish i didn't have a conscience.

my voice shall go with you

2:38 a.m. i'm far from home. quiet time.


there are many times when i fall silent, barely having the urge to speak. there is so much depth and beauty in silence. sometimes i'm really pensive. it's in a moment like this that i truly find enjoyment in quieting my thoughts, settling, and taking notice of how rich one single moment can be. i hear his wisdom whispering within me. in my silences, he is there. he is here with me now. there is oneness. one soul into another. blissful union.

Rilke.

Silent friend of many distances, feel how your breath enlarges all of spacelet your presence ring out like a bellinto the night.

Center of all centers, core of cores,almond self-enclosed and growing sweet – all the universe, to the furthest starsand beyond them, is your flesh, your fruit.

pure. infinite. warm.
i want to fall quiet more often, from time to time, to relish this infinite peace.
peace exists in each silent moment.
penetrate.

that churning feeling in my stomach returns. this is what i lost. please stay true.

la fille danse
quand elle joue avec moi
et je pense que je l'aime des fois
le silence, n'ose pas dis-donc
quand on est ensemble
mettre les mots
sur la petite dodo.

:) mmm golden griddle has never been quite so tasty. i love taking midnight trips with you for breakfast. :)

la la la :)
i feel so goood!!

calling all obstacles..

it's 6:38a.m and i'm paying attention? i hardly have an ounce of intention this morning. i awoke with an empty heart and empty head. do i benefit from this? is it filling my need? am i doing better because of it? i don't own my heart. nothing else exists in our world but the intention therefore if there is no intention, there is no person.
the hardest part is to maintain the the focus.

Ha Karat Ha'ra.
I realize that my true nature is I want things that bring my pleasure. None of these will fill the emptiness. I recognize that I am the desire to receive.

i know i know i know

box after box and you're still by my side. the weather is changing and it's breaking my stride. house after house just like car after car, it all seemed so far. it's just this day.

last night i was writing about you..
i know i know i know, you're still my love.
where are you with your crooked smile, confident walk, rent money in one pocket, and my heart in the other....

there's more to life than love and bein' together.



this is me before i come undone

tell me, what's in the way.

I look over my shoulder and each time I grow older and each time I can smile with what I've gained, but goodbyes are as hard as glass and easier to break. You lay out the pieces side by side and they never fit the same.

michael moore did an excellent job in hs documentary fahrenheit 9/11. unfortunately it was pretty biased.. with 59 apparent deceits. regardless, george w. bush is a complete tool and maaybe he should have spent more time being the president than spending his time on a ranch in texas, ignoring his duties. oh, but what does it matter, you're a skull and bones bastard. sweet, our world is only in jeopardy. how can we find peace? more and more people need to stand up. it takes one strong individual. if hitler could obtain power used for cruelty , than how hard must it be for a stand to be taken for peace on our planet?!? jshfjsf my brain hurts.

i'm also tipsy and a little lonely. the thought of rebelling has totally arisen at times, but than comes that feeling of udder disgust. no one is you. and you're what i care for. and that is real. i don't want to look, i don't want to be found all over again. i like not having to say a thing, because it's just understood. i guess i miss you and yeah, it sucks.

it's also canada day? the fireworks were cancelled and we didn't even go out on the boat. woo, we spent canada day in a power outage. new liskeard is beautiful. drinking in the dark is fun with my norther laid back friends.

life doesn't wait for us to get it right.. it just on when it goes wrong, it goes and than it's gone.. so i'm gunna do my best to make the most of this.
but am i wrong to still want you in my arms.