FAITH

i don't know how to do anything
i am trying to move mountains with words
but i am an ant
i scribble i drool
i move like a worm
whose world encompassed a mile
how do i rise above?
where will this worm find wings?
i look in the mirror and i see filth
who is that? where did the angel go?
why is there dirt staring back at me?
why is the soil of incompetence beneath my nails?
why does doubt paint blue rings beneath my eyes and stain my skin?
my spin assumes failure
my lips flirt with the sky; why do i try to lasso beauty with such a pitiful rope?
where is the hair of rapunzel or samson?
where is my sling, my stone, my gun?
where is the weapon with which i may fight this apathy that feels like sleep in my limbs,
that loosens my brother's smile that kills my neighbour's daughter
my pen is scrawny and hardly seems able to ink out or erase this plague that infests my generation

this giant, this ogre, this beast, this death, that assumes a million faces, that borrows my own.

she lay there in the half light of the room
unable to sleep
in the morning she told him she had
well, there were still some limits to the things she could say to him then
but most of the night she watched
his eyelids, and his lips and his face
and in the stillness,
she felt peace.

worry can rob you of your happiness. that i will do no more of. change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.

i just found myself crying for you. you may have a shortcoming too many in your life, but death i have never wished upon you. you always were such a baby when it came to going to the doctors. your life is of far too much worth, to so many, to be short-lived. i feel her pain, and i feel their confusion. nevermind not having a daddy your whole life, but being so young, and him being a faint memory. losing that part of your childhood, being robbed of it, it just brings me to tears.

wake up. please.