the photograph is proof...

i closed my eyes. we were so young then. all of us were at joey's. jessica was giggling loudly. i looked at you, and you seemed to have this sunshine coming from your face. yours and joey's smiles glowed so warmly along with jessica's that i felt like i could rise and float to them all. we were angels than. a family of angels, with an unbreakable bond, on a particularly warm new years eve - forgetting everything but our own joy in each other. i wish i knew. i would have held you tight to me. i would have never let go. i never knew forever until 9 months ago. and i mean it when i say i would have held on forever. but the memory of us so happy brought a smile to my face. i could feel it settling on my lips and i brushed away my steady tears. it seems so easy to just let go and float back to joyful times - there's no more pain, no more tears that way. we could start agan. than you could have your second chance. than we could keep the fucking doors of that cuckoo clock closed and stop time from moving us forward, the hands on the face frozen.... i fell asleep than. i don't even know how long i slept. my eyes were so full of haze that whenever i opened them and looked around, it was as if i was floating in the center of a cloud and trying to see the world around me. i couldn't even make out the numbers on my goddamn clock. when suddenly. i didn't care. what difference does time make? time's only a reminder that soon we will all be saying goodbye. why did we have to say goodbye?why is life so cruel to us?why are you gone?why can't i move on?why, why, why, why, why, why.these questions constantly circle 'round my brain, my heart.there's life beyond those shiny gates, my love. that i believe, for it's all i can. and it's through me, and through those along side myself, whom will never forget you and your impact on our lives, that you'll live the rest of your years.